I think the weirdest thing is that, to Lindsey, this is normal. So I have to point all this shit out to her and I feel like… am I trying to ruin her relationship with her parents?? I’m not, but they (her mom, specifically) do so much terrible shit to her (and transitively, me) that I’m always saying, “this isn’t normal. this isn’t what nice people who care about you would do.”
I hope she doesn’t resent me for it eventually. She’s never going to be able to change her parents, and if all I’m doing is complaining, what’s that doing to our relationship?
also HI it’s MONDAY NIGHT and I just watched BETTER CALL SAUL and I guess I gotta go do that now. brb.
ok I just got off the phone w/ saul and he was like “what’s up” and I was like “s’all good, man.”
wanna watch another sobriety video?
bye!
Allan,
From my experience when dealing with parents of SO’s it’s best to really just distance yourself as an observer. Not as an interfere, SO already knows there is cracks, she sees them everyday obviously and it’s best for you to really just shrug the cracks. Be there when the cracks get either solidify or filled or broken down my dude. It’s better that way. Because when you interfere, you just make things more complicated. You have to not forget that you are an outsider. Not only as a white male (Sorry for bringing up stupid racial shit), but as a person as well. Her mom obviously has a problem with you because she projects that you’re so perfect because you follow the rules and you need help sometimes.
Just try to patch the wounds up if someone is getting hurt my dude. It’s better this way. Been reading your stuff for a while. Just wanna say my piece because I really don’t wanna see you get hurt.
You’re right, Winston, and thanks for the comment. Distance is absolutely the best medicine, and it’s something we (myself included) strive for on a daily basis. There are a lot of details that fall through the comic cracks, but we’re dealing with a person who—when Lindsey and I have plans (for example)—will resent us for not allowing her to share in the experience (whatever it may be) in whichever way she prefers, so she ruins the situation for everyone involved and intentionally interrupts the fun.
I do give Lindsey support when she brings up how her mother affects her, though. I can’t say I don’t notice the things that happen — especially the things that upset Lindsey. So distance is tough in that regard. I’m right there with her almost every day.
I’m moving out by the end of the year so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think we’ve both learned how to deal with it. I think that’s why I’m able to make comics about it, now.
Really appreciate the advice.