I’ve been struggling with feeling successful, lately, because I define my own success, and I’ve never been defined by how much money I make or how prestigious my titles are – I define myself by my ability to create art that captures my unique worldview and by my ability to evolve. I feel trapped in my life and at work behind a wall of debt and a 40+ hour work week. I feel like it defines who I am; a “tech writer” rather than an artist because I rely on it to survive and repay the debt I feel I was goaded into accepting. A lifetime of coercision and “realism” and no outside possibility of pursuing a challenging albeit fulfilling future that I determined – not society.

But these are lessons I’ve had to learn independently. Painful lessons. But something I will eventually overcome and move past. I wish I didn’t feel trapped in the middle of another “transition” as I did in college. As I did in community college. As I did in high school. The “advice” I’ve grown up hearing has directed me to pursue a “reasonable” life when every part of who I’ve been my entire life has been unreasonable. I hope my comics and my art has reflected that. I never wanted a normal life – I wanted my life, my way.

Anyway, I’m ranting. I feel alone in this struggle. I know I have family and friends who will say “we are here for you, we love you,” but I’m still here, dealing with this monotony every day for the next decade of my life.

I’m sure I’ll talk about this more later. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy the color.